Sunday, March 20, 2016


Middle of March and I suddenly discover I’ve put up the same post twice in succession in February:  the 21st and the 28th.  
Was I especially busy the week between? If I was I can’t point to any significant accomplishments. No, it’s pure forgetfulness, and that can be ominous at certain times of life if you’re inclined to worry about your health.
Luckily, I’m not. With a clinic on-site and a medical group tracking everything about you -- by computer, now -- it’s easy to slip into a mindset of constant self-examination. You’re handed the notice for your next appointment as you exit the office from the visit just completed. In effect, your health is under constant surveillance. This was a great comfort for me when my mother was 101, but I don’t like it for myself. You keep looking for things, you’re liable to find them.
As for memory, I get mixed messages from my brain. Working with words all my life, it’s worrying not to be able to call up a word when I need it. It’ll hang there just out of reach, and of course the harder I try the further it will slip away. It’s like a cat; the more you reach for one the further away it moves, staying just beyond your fingers. The saving of it is that once I relax and stop trying, it will come of itself (the word and the cat).
Surprisingly, I find if I concentrate I can recall things like names and events from pretty far back. There’s real satisfaction in calling up the name of an old acquaintance out of the mists, although it usually happens when you start wondering if he or she is still with us. 
Anyway, I’m chalking up the February lapse to momentary carelessness, neglect of routine. I usually mark posts as used at publication, and I guess something must have distracted me when it was time to mark this one.
On the other hand, I’m not going back further than February looking for trouble. Forget that.