Sunday, January 11, 2015


The other “personhood,” courtesy of SCOTUS, Citizens United decision, January 2010.
Now that corporations are effectively “persons” with the rights and appurtenances thereunto appertaining, or the important ones, anyway --  are they also going to be subject to the things that afflict the rest of us?
Citibank, for just one example, presumably a male organization judging from its most visible executives, is a tad over 200 years old.  There’s a TV commercial that says in more than half of all males over age 50 the prostate gland, which starts out the size of a walnut, will have grown to the size of a lemon by age 70 or 80. Citi’s prostate problem should be something fierce. (How big would Mellon Bank’s problem be?) Betty Crocker has to be menopausal by now. No wonder our biggest corporations get cranky sometimes.  Catch Sara Lee on the wrong day and you could get a pie in the face.
Luckily, these persons will now presumably be eligible for Obamacare. Pre-existing conditions (indictments, fines, penalties) can be waived now. They could register in the federal system and all the states they live in; with some dedicated lawyering they could probably qualify for subsidies. Headquartered in another country? Awkward, but what’s Congress for? They’ll make it legal. If the country isn’t too big, the corporation can annex it.   
Some of these outfits are that big and have tons of money, but the Supreme Court says their spending millions to influence elections is just an extension of the long-standing One Man/One Vote principle: One Corporation/One Election. Seems fair.
But if for all practical purposes they’re going to have the vote like us, give `em all the rest of it -- standing on line at the Department of Motor Vehicles, wiping the chins of their elderly retirees, really paying taxes...

You wanna be a person, GM? It all comes with the territory.